Greeting at the Door
In the church I served in North Carolina, we were visited for a stretch of several weeks by a young man whose behavior was erratic and unsettling. We welcomed him warmly, but were troubled by the way that he would come in mid-service, sit in pews toward the front, then get up and wander the halls in places where he should not be, including our Sunday School spaces.
How, we wondered, should we respond? Should we have someone near him? Do we need to call law enforcement? Or just leave him alone so long as he remained in the sanctuary during church?
Opinions varied on what we should do about this visitor…and what to do with our discomfort. I am grateful for one usher, whose own son suffered from mental illness, who discouraged being too quick to call law enforcement. Yet, there were boundaries that had to be carefully observed so that all people were cared for: including this young man, including other vulnerable people in the congregation.
This kind of situation happens often in churches, especially in urban churches and cathedrals. Last Sunday we experienced a disruptive episode when a visitor who was repeatedly asking for money (despite being asked not to) then caused us to momentarily interrupt our Abundant Table service. Trinity members responded compassionately and appropriately. Yet, this was hard to watch, both for reasons of compassion for the man himself and for the discomfort we feel when our services, programs, or meetings are disrupted.
At Trinity Cathedral, we welcome everyone. I am proud to be a part of a cathedral where we welcome all neighbors, housed and un-housed alike, to be a part of our community and to engage as they like.
Yet, it is not unwelcoming to establish boundaries and expectations for appropriate behavior, just as we would for any member of the church. These expectations include:
- Refraining from panhandling. We ask church members to politely say no when asked for money and, if comfortable, redirect individuals to the 211 card of resources at the front desk.
- Nonviolent and non-abusive speech and behavior. We are committed to honoring the dignity of every human being, and we expect that of all people who enter these doors. FYI, the same is true for any meeting or gathering of the Trinity community…from church to Vestry meetings!
- Respectful participation in the services of worship.
We realize, though, that some neighbors coming through our doors have themselves experienced great trauma in their lives and need additional care. This is hard but faithful work, which requires compassion and commitment from all of us. With this is mind, the cathedral staff is taking time to evaluate our policies and educating ourselves regarding the best practices available to us.
If you have suggestions or feel called to take on a greater role in serving our neighbors in need, especially in moments like Sunday morning worship, I hope you’ll reach out to me.
I ask you to hold in your prayers those who are particularly vulnerable and marginalized, and consider how we can create a space that is welcoming, safe, and sacred for all.
The Very Rev. Bernard J. Owens